Committed Blog readers will remember reading about my crash on the Sydney Harbour Bridge in December.
(Click here if you missed the article and photos!)
Well despite managing to elude the all-seeing-eye of my phone camera on that occasion, Wendy has put in more regular appearences of late, notably at the 303 'back to school' party where she tied for 'most convincing schoolgirl' with Dan!
Her most recent adventure made me chuckle so I decided to share it with you! Enjoy.
Lancette's Diary: Clip in pedals - Day 1.
Scene 1: Next to the table, inside.
"It's kind of hard to get my feet into these new bike shoes, I hope they loosen up a bit. Maybe if I just jam my feet in really quickly, it'll be easier...
What's that? Hmmm... my bike light. Might be needing that later. Ok, feet in shoes, now onto the bike".
Scene 2:Outside the house, on the neighbour's driveway, standing upright.
"I hope I don't get a flat. I'd be stuffed if I had to walk to work in these shoes. And late. I'm already late. Maybe I should get the pump. Where is the pump? Bugger the pump, I haven't got time to find it. I won't get a flat... surely. Let's just get into these pedals. Ok, left foot first..... hey! Bingo! How cool is that? Is my foot in properly? Yep, I think so!"
Scene 3: Outside the house, on the neighbour's driveway, not standing upright.
"What the F*%! Ouch. Bloody bike. How did that happen? Did I just fall off? I must have. That's concrete. Ok... I'll just get out from under it. Huh...? My foot won't move. How do I get out of these bloody things? Hmmm... Easy, huh? I'll love my cycling? Huh...?"
Scene 4: Outside the house, on the neighbour's driveway, on the MTB.
"If I'm late, I'm late. At least I might arrive alive".
Wendy Andrews aka Lancette
Editor's note: Readers facing a similar 'bike-shoes-and-matching-clip-in-pedals' adventure might like to losen off the spring tension adjuster to facilitate easy foot removal in the event of sudden, inexplicable loss of balance! For others (you know who you are - TDBB) even this precautionary measure is not enough ;-) !
Please see Dan's comment (below) clarification on this last point!
Happy pedalling!
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A golden moment in time...for the rest of us.
A morning like many others was had a few Sunday's ago. It started out cold, somewhat hung-over but she's an eager beaver. She went for her run, getting home with enough time barely to rest. Lunch was planned for the first road ride. Not only was this a tad scary, but it was with a group who have had a few rides already. Hmmm. Should she bail out or go with the flow, and just go go go. Well, she decided to 'have a go ya mug' and front up for a lesson in cycling. A few boring laps of Centennial Park and she was ready to hit the road - no, not literally.......just yet. A 37km ride with 5 others was just the trick to get her confidence up and going - she spent time on the front, squeezed between, and up the rear (of the pack, of course). Getting back was not a problem. She dodged the traffic on Anzac Parade like a new cab driver - just. All was going well.
Finally back at The Park, she got to rest her little legs. A young couple with a small baby tried to moved to her left and down a small gutter. Well, some think she was not concentrating, some say she was too busy listening to one of Dunstan's unusual stories, I think she was too busy perving at the boy's legs. Forgetting that you need to unclip your leg from the bike before you try to put it on the ground is a mistake that most have made at least once. I forgot to unclip whilst perving at two girls at traffic lights! After falling onto the side walk, they laughed and merely drove off. Our friend '%#@*^' fell over trying to get out of the pram's way, but fell, managing Super Human strength to hold herself above the pram in a 'push-up' style position. The mother and father looked on in sheer terror. We did too, but for the possibility of scratching her beautiful bike. Stuff the kid, stuff the scabs on her knee, stuff the stupid parents who couldn't put their $5million pram on the bloody grass. Just DON'T SCRATCH THE BIKE!
In the end, the idiotic parents gave their "Eastern Suburbs huff" and moved on whilst %#@*^ has the scabs healing. The bike was spared any indignity of
a scratch.
'tis so nice to be there when somebody takes their first silly slip. So long as nobody gets hurt, the bike is ok and it makes us all feel better about our own 'first time', all's well that ends well.
Lancette's Diary: Clip in pedals - Day 2.
Following an intensive clip in pedal training session last night (which included AJ acting as a windtrainer and the loosening of pedals in accordance with the Editor's tip) I made it to work today on the new but now heavily scratched pedals. AJ accompanied me half way and under his careful guidance, there was only one crash. It was on the bridge, near one of those evil sticky-outy-boxy things, but unfortunately the evil sticky-outy-boxy things can not to be blamed for the crash. Once AJ left I had to think for myself and then the problems really started. I stacked it at traffic lights (on the footpath - too scared of the road just yet) and then again near work. Luckily near work I fell off quite elegantly by falling into a wall which was a nice change and a bit softer than cement.Yesterday's bruises are very happy to have the company of a few more bruises, bumps and scabs. The bike is less happy with skewed brake levers and a few scratches on the left side. Getting home tonight in the dark dodging cars and pedestrians will be an interesting experience
: )
Lancette's Diary: Clip in pedals - Day 3.
The ride to work on Wednesday 22 June 2005: Decide to write Lancette's diary after the trip home so as to have something
positive to say after crashing on the way home last night and crashing on the way to work this morning. Decide that the crash on the way to work this morning wasn't really a crash but rather a necessary evil experienced in order to save the life of another
human being. The crash this morning occurred on the footpath near an intersection. A wayward walkman wearing pedestrian nearly collided with a bus but for yours truly. "Hey!!!!!! Bus !!!! Stop!!! Bus!!! Stop!!" Phew he
stopped. No squishy bits. He mouthed me "thanks". "Hey, no worries, you have to watch out for those busses?" "CRASH!!!!"
The lights change and the walkman wearing pedestrian crosses the road without a backward glance.
Sitting on the pavement I disentangle myself from the bike and wonder what role karma really plays in the world today. Decide he must have been in a hurry. From behind me a stranger's voice says "you've got to remember to clip out of those pedals". Really? I look up and smile weakly. This is not funny any
more. Get to work and tell my 'funny' story to the men in the lift. They say I have a nice bike. It must go really fast. I say it would be nice if I could
ride it and tell them of my Lancette adventures so far. They laugh hysterically as I declare in a strong, clear voice "I will not surrender". Decide that my funny story about saving the life of the wayward pedestrian and my "I will not surrender" line will tie in nicely with news of my first ever crash free 7km ride on the way home tonight. Start making mental notes for Lancette's diary.
The ride home from work on Wednesday 22 June 2005:
Clip in left, clip in right. Perfect. Now up the ramp. What's that? A big truck in my way. Why is it stopping? Why doesn't it just go left or right? Which way do I go? I don't know. CRASH !!! Land on my right side. Decide that at least I've crashed on my right side because after 7 crashes in three days on my left side my right side needs a share of the action. Convince the men jumping down from the truck that I'm ok. Convince the motherly-type security guard that I'm ok.
Get back on. Ride up the ramp. Try to think about the good things I have learnt by crashing yet again. Can't think of any. Notice that my right brake lever is now all bent and mangled, but unfortunately not bent and mangled at the same angle as my left hand brake leaver, so just looks dodgy. Decide that my new bike now looks like crap. I feel like crap. Why am I so hopeless
at this? Feel like crying. Nearly cry. Decide that crying won't help and don't bother. Call Dan for encouragement. Leave slightly hysterical voice mail message. Ride home over the bridge. Get overtaken by an MTB and feel
embarrassed. Hold that thought whilst getting overtaken by a second MTB. Feel depressed then incensed. I'm on a carbon fiber racer for God's sake. Overtake the first MTB and feel a little better. Get to the end of the bridge and get overtaken by the first MTB as I unclip. Feel like crying. Nearly cry. Decide that crying won't help and that it
would blur my vision, making unclipping more difficult. Don?t bother crying. Decide to take my chances with the traffic and race the lights up the highway. Decide that it's safer to ride in the middle lane rather than risk having to unclip behind a parked car. Ride up the highway towards Crows Nest and notice the same jogger I saw at the bottom of the bridge. Try to think about the good things about riding slow enough on a carbon fiber bike to get overtaken by a jogger. Can't think of any. Decide I should have bought a bike on ebay and crashed it instead and then remembered there were none
small enough for me. Consider taking the train to work tomorrow. Decide that tomorrow is going to be the coldest day of the year so far and that it's going to rain, just to tempt me to take the train to work tomorrow and to test my determination to conquer these (swear word) clip in pedals. Get home, finally, with only one crash under my belt. Try to think about the good things about having crashed 7 times in 3 days. Can't think of any. Feel like crying. Nearly cry. Decide that a shower and a bottle of wine will help enormously.
Tomorrow is another day.
Lancette‘s Diary: Clip in pedals - Day 4 - the final instalment
"I'm awake. I have to ride to work today. I hope I don't fall off. Maybe I'll stay in bed. Maybe I'll catch the train. I know I won't stay in bed and I know I won't catch the train, even if it's raining. I have no choice. I have to get back on the bike. Is it raining? No. Is that good or bad? If it was raining maybe I could talk myself into catching the train. I pull on my running shorts rather than my "7 stacks in 3 days" cycling shorts - maybe some fresh clothes will give me good luck. My right hand brake lever is not mangled like I thought. Great. I don't really care and I don't want to get back on the bike. I never skip breakfast. Today I skip breakfast. It's 6:30am when we leave. There's not much traffic. AJ says it's cold. I don't even feel it. Hardly say a word to AJ all the way to town. He can tell I'm nervous and that my confidence has been totally shot to pieces. He kisses me goodbye and tells me I'm doing well. It's all just practice. I don't believe him. I make it to work without a single stack and am surprised at my lack of elation. I don't feel like I have conquered the pedals - we have simply learned to live with each other. I feel relief. My workmate doesn't say "hello" when he sees me. Instead he says "How did you go? Did you fall off your bike today?" I find that funny. "No, actually, I made it in today." He gives me the thumbs up. I feel better. Another workmate arrives. "Did you fall off your bike today?" This time I laugh. She's the second person I've seen in the office this morning. "No, I didn't fall off my bike today"
I didn't fall off my bike today. : )
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